That’s right. It’s the exercise craze extraordinaire known as ZUMBA. (Not to be confused with Zuska disease – that would not be a fun craze to jump on the bandwagon for.)
Did you know?
ZUMBA: (According to Wikipedia) is a Latin dance inspired fitness program created by dancer and choreographer Alberto “Beto” Perez in Colombia during the 1990s.
The Zumba man himself, Alberto Perez. Photo via sptimes.com
Now that we have the basics out of the way, what do we really know about this “Zumba”?
SURE, we know that ladies love it. Need an excuse to shake your hips vigorously to a hip-hop/salsa beat? Zumba’s got you covered. Always wanted to shimmy those arms with careless abandon and call it a workout? Zumba does that too. Want to look cool while working out?
This is cool... right?
Maybe Zumba isn’t the best choice, then.
As an alternative, MMA fighting is probably an awesome workout and totally looks cool… just don’t die.
Regardless of it’s flaws, Zumba is an effective cardio workout that allow it’s participants to shake the crap out of their worries and into a slimmer figure.
Shake. It. Girl.
This is why Zumba is here to stay.
For more information on EXERCISE come out to the Encyclopedia Show Austin and Ginger Snaps Burlesque’s JANUARY 12th show at ND 501 Studios. The fun starts at 7:30pm!
For just The Encyclopedia Show, tickets are $6 online and $8 at the door.
For just Ginger Snaps Burlesque, tickets are $10 online and $12 at the door.
Be there or be sad and depressed that you aren’t there, but instead are home alone eating Phish Food ice cream while watching Will and Grace re-runs and contemplating the meaning of life (and why you aren’t at the Encyclopedia Show Austin and Ginger Snaps Burlesque January 12th EXERCISE show)!
I just wanted to let you know that I didn’t forget about February 1, 2004. No-sir-e, I did not. Just in case you can’t remember:
OH NOES!
Listen! I’m not here to hate – on the contrary. I’m here to say that I think it was pretty stinkin’ messed up how people treated you after the “wardrobe malfunction.” You and JT were pretty clever to come up with that, in my opinion. Come on, we both know that wasn’t an accident. He had you naked(ish) by the end of that song, all right.
SO SILLY
I also don’t think that people should have gone around and blamed you guys for being solely responsible for the increased regulation of broadcasting and the censorship of free speech. That’s pretty heavy stuff just for one exposed(ish) nipple!
Look, I’m not trying to reopen old wounds. All I really wanted to say was you’re still awesome, and 2004 was a fluke year. MTV, and the FCC, and the PTC were just jealous – that’s all.
Contrary to popular belief, during the 1850′s America suffered two civil wars, not one. While the North and South waged battle, the East and West were simultaneously at war. According to the video, “the west had expanded as far as they could go, so they started to expand back into the east.”
TRUTH
Seriously. It’s true.
“Brother against brother, and brother against brother going in a different direction.”
That handsome devil up there is none other than the Confederate General Robert E. Lee, and rumor has it that he was quite the lady killer in his time. In a close examination of his private letters, Rob revealed his flirtatious side to many women.
(more like this, amirite?)
Despite the need to express his love of women, it is believed that he was always faithful and devoted to his wife, Mary. Mary even seems to have been a good sport about her husband’s bad habit, as she wrote witty attachments at the end of some of his letters. On one, she expressed her hopes that Rob wouldn’t try to pass himself off as a widower at a party he was going to.
Because that gets all of the ladies…?
P.S. I like Mary. She’s sassy.
Stay tuned for more civil war trivia, and don’t forget to mark your calendars for The Encyclopedia Show Austin: CIVIL WARS on November 10th!
I don’t think of myself as nuts. Whenever I’m at a table with 3 friends, I am always the Miranda. Back in the days when people had jobs, my boss told me I was a calming influence on her. I’m usually pretty unshakable is what I’m saying. But last summer, I lost my mind more than I did the summer previous when I lost my job, my boyfriend and moved from upstate NY to Austin, TX, and due in very small part to bedbugs. They are fascinating and terrifying and icky and a convenient obsession if your life is a little messier than you would like.
Angels! As part of my work with the Encyclopedia Show – Austin that someday I hope pays me a living wage, I get the loveliest job of getting to sit down and interview my favorite Encyclo-friends about their lives with some boring questions from the Institute for Human Knowledge and Hygiene plus some juicy good ones from the brain under my goddess crown of golden spirals. We should all know those who share I life stage, and honor them. Also, if there’s anything YOU want to know, just comment and I’ll answer for Stepdad Ron!
TWENTY QUESTIONS WITH GYPSY MAGNOLIA: STEPDAD RON
(NOTE: Angels, there was a little controversy when I wanted to interview Stepdad Ron because, understandably there was a clash of masculine son/stepfather energy. I felt like a regular Katie Couric in a more ethnic tunic!)
photo by Martin Note, who Ron thinks is a "heckuva guy."
(Required by the Institute)
#1- How old were you when you learned to read?I’ll be honest, I’m still not a strong reader.
#2- Exactly how many books do you read per year? I’ve been working my way through The Purpose Driven Life for a few years now.
#3- How big is the T in your Truth?Times New Roman, size 12
#4- Literature isA class that, as a Bridge Building major, I was not required to take.
Hey there fellow thespi-veterans! Remember the Panama Canal!
(now for the juicy ones)
#5- If I were to be pretend romantically involved with one character from fiction it would be There were some pretty good looking gals in that Avatar film.
#6- If I were to be pretend romantically involved with one nonfiction writer it would be Who wrote Rich Dad, Poor Dad? If it’s a lady: her.
#7- Bed-Banish-Betroth: Jackie Collins, Nicholas Sparks, V.C. AndrewsWhich one wrote Flowers in the Attic for Algernon?
#8- What book would you read with your last meal? Does Inventions magazine count?
(Personal questions)
#9 – Name the Weird Austin thing that is most like you:I don’t get to the big city too often.
#10 - My spirit animal is named Jesusand is a Son of God. Wait, I’m not sure I understand the question.
#11 – What is your favorite yoga pose? Tai Bo
#13 - Movie theaters = popcorn time! True. False. Discuss. I NEVER buy snacks at movie theaters. The prices!! I’m on a fixed income! Linda and I usually sneak in some Fig Newtons in her purse.
#14 – I would walk down the aisle to Nelly Furtado’s song ________ because _________. My church does not allow music.
#15- Preferred Tarot spread? Spread? Like hummus? I had that stuff at a Super Bowl party this year. Delicious!
#18 – The longest I lived in a vehicle was after visiting the Alamo, I wept in my car for a few hours. I learned America is the greatest country that God has ever created.
#20- What is the most beautiful idea you are in love with?Closing the Borders. Books shouldn’t be that expensive.
(Bonus!)
#21- What charity are you playing for today? Oh I thought I was getting paid for this.
For you. For me. For America. Thanks, Ron! and thanks Martin Note for the photo!
Angels! As part of my work with the Encyclopedia Show – Austin that someday I hope pays me a living wage, I get the loveliest job of getting to sit down and interview my favorite Encyclo-friends about their lives with some boring questions from the Institute for Human Knowledge and Hygiene plus some juicy good ones from the brain under my goddess crown of golden spirals. We should all know those who share I life stage, and honor them. Also, if there’s anything YOU want to know, just comment and I’ll answer for Michael!
TWENTY QUESTIONS WITH GYPSY MAGNOLIA: MICHAEL GRAUPMANN
I'm so excited to chat with Mike!
(Required by the Institute)
#1- How old were you when you learned to read?6
#2- Exactly how many books do you read per year? 5
#3- How big is the T in your Truth?8.5 inches
#4- Literature isFUNdamental
(now for the juicy ones!!)
#5- If I were to be pretend romantically involved with one character from fiction it would be Madame Bovary
#6- If I were to be pretend romantically involved with one nonfiction writer it would beRoger Ebert
#7- Bed-Banish-Betroth: Jackie Collins(BETROTH), Nicholas Sparks(BANISH), V.C. Andrews (BED)
#8- What book would you read with your last meal?The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
(Personal questions— My favorites!!!)
#9 – Name the Weird Austin thing that is most like you:BookPeople
#11- What is your favorite yoga pose?Eagle
Stay Fresh, noble Eagle!
#13- Movie theaters = popcorn time! True?False.
Discuss.So much noise. Can’t eat without shoveling. Kernels stuck in teeth. Salt all over hands. Butter is fake.
#14- I would walk down the aisle to Nelly Furtado’s song Forcabecauseit is inspirational and about fighting.
#15- My astrological sign is:Virgo. My strength is my organization and details.
#17- What was your high school goth name? Bert
#18- The longest I lived in a vehicle was48 straight hours from Illinois to California. I learnedto vary my diet more than a single economy sized bag of pizza-flavored Combos.
#19- What is Austin’s best kept secret? The Encyclopedia Show
(Bonus!)
#21- What charity are you playing for today?Austin Pug Rescue
Thank you for your words, Angel Michael! See you next show!
Angels, I’m not much into following things like the Oscars, but since they’re over I’ve been trying to see what all the fuss is about. Plus, my inability to conceive does not mean I don’t ovulate for a week each month and need some quality couch time. Did you know it takes MONTHS for movies to go from the theater to DVD? I feel like maybe they could be a lot more efficient if they just did it all at once. I really wanted to see dreamy Colin Firth’s performance in The King’s Speech because I had a childhood stutter that I lost when I accidentally hypnotized myself one time in a funhouse. I don’t miss it, but love both the “overcoming disabilities” and “hooker with a heart of gold” tropes. So, since the local movie theater is only playing the Bieber movie and “Topper” (they do one kids freebie and one for retirees who are nostalgic for a time when cinema verite was not invented), I decided to do the next best thing… watch all 11 episodes of the EPIC (correct use of the word) 1976 BBC miniseries “I, Claudius.” Or, as I thought it was called “I, CLAVDIVS.” How did the Romans tell the U from the V?
FACT: Romans only vsed fovr vowels.
Anyhoo, Derek Jacoby, who has made a pretty magic career playing white haired men on PBS, is the lead role/narrator, Claudius, who is born deformed and afflicted with a stutter. Things in Rome were just like living in the U.S. Dominant political structures, wars in foreign lands people pretend aren’t happening, a crazy wife of a Republican emperor, and orgies. There is so much sex in this miniseries, angels, that you really get a feel for how weird the 70s must have been. And it’s one of those things that was on PBS so kids probably watched this when they couldn’t get their clammy hands on one of the good National Geographics. A bird lands on Claudius and I think that tagged him as going to be emperor. His step mom was a meany but like a Roman Cinderella, he endured. When he is eventual emperor, the stutter has disappeared and he takes a wife that one day challenges the president of the hooker club to a duel to see who can outlast more lovers in a single day. Trope goldmine, angels! And I don’t want to ruin anything, but the hooker is Sicilian. And the empress is hungry. You feel me? And there are so many nipples!
I am often asked if my work is based on John Hvrt's crossdressing.
I identify with Clavdivs because all this slutty is happening behind his back and ruining his marriage. Additionally, having such an educational program to teach us about the dangers of empire is really important in the age where Bret Easton Ellis (author and purveyor of cocaine smut) is calling Charlie Sheen (misogynist and consumer of cocaine smut) “post-empire.” As in, when people are going buckwild with pleasure, they are probably ignoring more important things like war. Like Janet Jackson, I live by the Pleasure Principle, but am never not keeping it really real about the global cost of our ignorance. You know, like how sometimes James comes home to the trailer with Jack-In-The-Box and I ask him how the soy in the meat is treating him? Because it treats the worlds’ indigenous farmers like shit and starves them? And the excess estrogen is going to one day turn him into a goddess! Slowly, it works, as he’s now eating more chicken. Bird by bird, Anne Lamott reminds us. And the Roman fashion is so drapey I really love it, but the miniseries is sometimes confusing when everyone is called Caesar with no salad in sight.
Empress Livia is the original golddigger. And she was pretty slvtty.
Today we as a globe lost Elizabeth Taylor, one of my personal goddess role models, as I’m hoping to spawn my own collection of ex-husbands and conflict-free white diamonds someday. Watching “I, Claudius” helps me embrace the world without her light, with a reminder that imperialism is bad, mostly when rich people are really busy trashing each others’ lives. I give the miniseries 3 and a half blossoms. Feel free to watch it next time you’re cramping for 11+ hours!!
In the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, a disease called Tarantism would cause anyone who suffered a tarantula bite to become anxious and restless. The bitten would sometimes start dancing Thriller-style to pass the venom out of their system. In order to pass the venom, communities would play a frantic style of music and spontaneously spaz out. This therapy originated a style of folk dancing, the Tarantella.
And now one can only hear about the growing Indian Tarantism epidemic in hushed whispers…
May their creepy smiles forever haunt those who do not respond to their cries for help.
The first time a Canadian ever vandalized something, he chose to vandalize a memorial to 9/11 victims!
During the gold medal men’s hockey game in February of last year, one Canadian double-dog-dared the other Canadian to replace a nearby American flag with a Canadian one if Canada beat America in the game. Canada won, they switched the 9/11 memorial flag for their Maple Leaf, and they were arrested for misdemenor charges of vandalism.
The National Post reports that an editorial in the local paper, the Desert Sun, said Canada’s foray into petty vandalism was “disrespectful, outrageous and downright rude.” although the internet has no memory of that.
Arrested after a country’s first attempt at vandalism. I know a pop star from the 90s who would have something to say about that.
It's time to head North for a learning adventure unlike any we've taken before. We're packing our bags and driving up north to Austin's craziest neighboring suburb: PFLUGERVILLE!
It's time to put on your historical thinking caps and imagine what it was like growing up a poor Bavarian immigrant in the harsh wilds of the alien Texas Hill Country in the 1900s!
There are some amazing traditions that have lasted for centuries in this sleepy Central Texas suburb, and some disturbing secrets buried deep below the rich earthen exterior. Why, it's racism and religious oppression, of course! But, look, more beer and brats to help cover up that nasty historical fact!
Come along with us and find out if our neighbors to the North are really as goofy as they read. And if it helps add a 'p' to all your words starting with 'f's, please feel free to do so.
