Never Let Them See You Dumb.

Hello, Encyclopedians!

After a brief hiatus and a necessary retreat from the heat, we’re so happy to announce, we’re coming back Thursday, September 8, for another amazing season of learning and laughter!

We return to the updated ND (now with food and more drink options) with our first show: THE PERIODIC TABLE OF ELEMENTS!

Joining us for this show, you’ll see:
Improv Actor Elizabeth Brammer – Mde. Marie Curie
5 Things Host Brittany Callender – Helium Shortage
Sketch Comedy Team Your Terrific Neighbors – Fool’s Gold
Multimedia Artist Kurt Hildebrand – Lanthanoids and Actanoids
Standup Comedian Cameron Fielder – Inert Gases

Plus Your EShow Cast Members:
Fashion Expert Stacy Berlin – Covalent Bonds
Sexual Health Expert Gypsy Magnolia – Nickel
Mike’s Stepdad Ron – Alchemy
Hosts Mike and Ralph
Fact Checker Joe

Pre-show and drinks start at 7:30pm.
Show starts promptly at 8:13pm.

See you there, Nerds!

Hey, everybody!

We’ve been putting our love of reading and our love of teaching together into a month-long book club focusing on young adult fiction! Oh, and the book club members are ages 11-13! We’re affecting the future, y’all!

We’re meeting at the O. Henry Museum every Saturday morning, thanks to the hard work and goodwill of The Museum’s wonderful Mike Hoinski. (He’s bringing us cupcakes, so we’re especially excited…)

For the four-week book club, we’re reading and discussing six of our favorite YA novels: To Kill a Mockingbird, Small Steps, Stargirl, Hatchet, The Pigman and Hoot. Have you read these? Let’s discuss them!

Read the article the Statesman wrote about us and then join us next summer for more Encyclo-Club!

YOU'RE the Gelman (of Regis and Kelly)!

Our very funny cast members, Your Terrific Neighbors, are performing a sketch-prov show, Syrup Talk, this Sunday night at 7pm at the Hideout Theatre here in Austin. [Sketch-prov is along the lines of the technique used by hilarious geniuses on Curb Your Enthusiasm.] Tickets are only $5. Courtney and Joel are the co-hosts and Curtis is the producer. I do not think Weird Al will be there (‘ceptin in spirit) but perhaps syrup will levitate in one way or another. You’ll be laughing so much you might wanna go eat some pancakes afterwards. Personally, I recommend Vermont pure maple syrup.

Speaking of ooey gooey foodstuffs, let’s take a moment to remember the Boston Molasses Flood victims of 1919. True story: On an atypically warm winter’s day in January in the North End (traditionally Italian) section of Boston, a giant molasses vat exploded, gushing out into the streets. People literally could not outrun molasses – 150 injured, 21 killed, along with many horses & pets. This sounds impossible at first, but imagine over 2.3 million gallons of anything surging at you, and then think about how molasses is super sticky. It’s like you’re Hans Solo but without any powers or good looks or Hollywood set designers. The wave was between 8-15 ft high and traveled at 35 mph. Years later, whenever it was warm in Boston, they say you could still smell the molasses. Here’s some trivia for you: Professional Amateur Historian Lydia’s great-great grandmother drowned when wine vats were bombed in Italy, and another ancestor died when he fell into a vat of glue. Moral of the story is do go and see Syrup Talk and do stay away from vats! We hear Austin has the largest vat population in the world.

Thanks again to our brilliant contributors for last night’s Wyoming show at the ND.

Kerri Lendo, Roxy Castillo, Phil West, Georgia Young, Chris Crowe and Dan Rumney led us on a journey we’ll never forget! We learned that Wyoming isn’t as bad as we thought, but we’re probably gonna stick it out here in Texas…

Look for videos to be posted soon! See you all on July 21st for The Circus season finale!!!

The Institute of Human Knowledge and Hygiene finally let us make a commercial to promote this month’s show! We think they’re warming to us!

See ya at the ND@501 on June 9th!

I don’t think of myself as nuts. Whenever I’m at a table with 3 friends, I am always the Miranda. Back in the days when people had jobs, my boss told me I was a calming influence on her. I’m usually pretty unshakable is what I’m saying. But last summer, I lost my mind more than I did the summer previous when I lost my job, my boyfriend and moved from upstate NY to Austin, TX, and due in very small part to bedbugs. They are fascinating and terrifying and icky and a convenient obsession if your life is a little messier than you would like.

Continue reading →

Becky The Intern
May 1, 2011
Final Biology Paper

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a complex show which addresses our most primal fears through the lens of absurdist drama. The other evening I was watching episode four of season one, Teacher’s Pet, purely to analyze it’s societal anthropomorphic projections. In the episode, Buffy’s biology teacher is mysteriously murdered (decapitation) and a new teacher comes to take his place. This new teacher is beautiful, seductive, and a mythical shape shifter because she is secretly a GIANT PRAYING MANTIS?! High drama ensues, we discover that Xandar is a virgin (big surprise) and I discovered that Willow is hard to watch in the early episodes because I just can’t wait for her to start dyking out.

Oh yeah, ladies. Get it.

However, the episode piqued my curiosity. I am not just a hardcore teenager with an affinity for a colored Mohawk; I am a daughter of science and a seeker of badass knowledge. Because of this, I present to you: “Why The Female Praying Mantis Is My Kind Of Bitch”.

First and foremost, the lady Mantis is historically exalted. The term ‘Mantis’ comes from the Greek word prophet. We’re talking the messiah kind of prophet here. That is awesome. 
She is also thought to descend from the cockroach family, which is kind of gross but kind of sweet for two reasons. Reason one: cockroaches are indestructible. That basically makes the Mantis indestructible, but less gross and she comes complete with Raptorial legs that have badass spikes on them. Reason two: if the Mantis comes from the cockroach, then the Mantis is like the first generation of hillbillies that went to college. They got out of that one horse town of garbage eating, and moved on to bigger and better things. I swear that Hillary Clinton wears a Praying Mantis emerald studded broach whenever she gives inspiring speeches to young women.

Hillary gets it.  

Now on to what really matters: when cannibalism and sex meet, you’ve got yourself a lady Mantis. Here’s how sexy time with this little She-Devil goes down: A dude Mantis hops on top of the lady, copulation begins. The male thrust patterns are not regulated by anything in his head (shocking), rather, it is a muscular reaction in the mid-body region. Now, the lady has this awesome party trick where she can turn her head 180 degrees. She also knows that when the male Mantis is decapitated during penile party time, his nervous system goes a little crazy and he starts thrusting like a 16 year old boy at a titty convention. So she goes all exorcist, spins that head around during naughty time, and gnaws through the neck of her baby daddy. I believe the audience of Ricki Lake said it best when they coined the phrase, “You Go Girl!”

While sexual cannibalism is a reproductive tactic, lab studies have been released indicating that the decapitation may just be a simple case of the munchies. Doin it doin it and doin it well takes a lot out of a girl, and when our blood sugar gets low, we get cranky and eat the first thing we see. Sometimes it’s the head of our mate. Lab experiments show that in most cases if the female is fed right before mating, she will not cannibalize the male. Especially if he took her somewhere nice, paid for dinner, and didn’t talk about his ex-girlfriend the whole time. 

The lady Mantis is a no non-sense bitch, and I think we can all learn something from her straight forward approach to getting what she wants and not letting a horny, humping, dude ruin her day. So ladies, next time a slobbering male starts rubbing on you in a bar, you know what to do. Be the prophet, be indestructible, use your spiked Raptorial legs to hold him in place and go for the jugular.

Come learn about all sorts of other hardcore wiggly beasts on May 12!!!!!

Angels! As part of my work with the Encyclopedia Show – Austin that someday I hope pays me a living wage, I get the loveliest job of getting to sit down and interview my favorite Encyclo-friends about their lives with some boring questions from the Institute for Human Knowledge and Hygiene plus some juicy good ones from the brain under my goddess crown of golden spirals. We should all know those who share I life stage, and honor them. Also, if there’s anything YOU want to know, just comment and I’ll answer for Ralphie!

TWENTY QUESTIONS WITH GYPSY MAGNOLIA: RALPHIE HARDESTY

Basking in the glow of technology.

#1- How old were you when you learned to read? I have the worst memory, but I guess it was kindergarten. That would’ve made me 4? Does that sound completely wrong? When do children learn to read?!

#2- Exactly how many books do you read per year? I am a very typical American. I do my reading online or through Netflix.

#3- How big is the T in your Truth? My T won a blue ribbon at the county fair.

#4- Literature is FUNdamental!

They dared him to bring his mom. He had the last laugh.

(now for the juicy ones)

#5- If I were to be pretend romantically involved with one character from fiction it would be Fabio.

#6- If I were to be pretend romantically involved with one nonfiction writer it would be David Rakoff.

#7- Bed-Banish-Betroth:  Jackie Collins, Nicholas Sparks, V.C. Andrews I had to google Nicholas Sparks and VC Andrews. Betroth Jackie, Bed VC, Banish Nicholas.

#8- What book would you read with your last meal? Does the spoonful of Nutella I just ate count? The Chocolate War.

Ralphie moves like a bat.

(Personal questions)

#9 – Name the Weird Austin thing that is most like you: THE BATS! BECAUSE I EAT INSECTS AT NIGHT!

#13- Movie theaters  = popcorn time!    True.      False.   Discuss. False! My life is separated into before and after the Alamo Drafthouse. Before, movies were popcorn time. Now, popcorn is but one awesome choice you can make. Popcorn and Reese’s were my movie theater snack preference, but now I like pizza.

#15- My astrological sign is: Libra. My strength is my ability to understand and work with others.

#20- What is the most beautiful idea you are in love with? That the world will end in 2012. Is a fact an idea? I will google it and get back to you.

#21- What charity are you playing for today? Locks of Lynde: Wigs for Balding Gay Men.

Y’all. The combinations of pieces and ideas and videos and awesome is going to be so gooooooooooood.

We can’t believe that Elizabeth Crane is premiering an amazing new fiction piece in our show! And some of the funniest videos that are going to go instantly viral. Y’all gotta be there to believe it.

Plus: Free burritos, fries and hot apple pies for some truly lucky audience members!

See ya’ll Thursday at the ND@501 Studios at 7:30pm!!!